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Old 06-11-06, 07:43 PM
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Shaq: I'm big, sexy, and beautiful

http://denverpost.com/nuggets/ci_3923716



By Marc J. Spears
Denver Post Staff Writer



Dallas - Shaquille O'Neal, who once described himself as "quotatious," has a reputation for being able to fill a reporter's notebook at the NBA Finals. As he makes his sixth Finals appearance, the oral legend of O'Neal continues to grow, highlighted by a lecture to earthlings.

"I'm a freak of nature," O'Neal said Saturday. "You've never seen anyone this big, this sexy, move this way.... You've got to understand that, you know, being that I'm in the fitness business now, I've got a lot of people that understand that muscle weighs more than fat and if you look at the frame, there's a lot of muscle on this frame.

"My (weight) numbers, sometimes it's going to be a higher number, and you earthlings, when you hear a high number because of your level of thinking, you're automatically going to think it's fat. But no, I've been 11, 12 percent body fat my whole career.

"But when you've got a big, sexy, beautiful man that's up in the 340s, 350s, the way you guys were taught on this planet, you're going to automatically think it's fat."

On his brute strength: "Whoever I'm playing against, I just like to punish them, and you really can't punish people with finesse. I like to use my brute strength, but usually when they can't handle that, they flop and they fall and the Earth doesn't feel sorry for the other earthlings, don't try to control them. I just try to mix it up."

On the planet he is from: "I don't know the name of the planet. The files were destroyed. So, actually, my mother originally told me I wasn't born, that I was found on the train. But I have a lot of heritage in Texas, but I consider myself a New Jerseyan. I was found on the Amtraks in Jersey City, N.J."



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Old 06-11-06, 07:56 PM
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Hahahaha. Shaq is awesome.
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Old 06-11-06, 08:10 PM
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Shaq IS awesome! and right now, all i gotta say is GO HEAT!!
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Old 06-11-06, 10:12 PM
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Shaq 5 points 2-5 shooting, OWNED!!!!!
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Old 06-11-06, 10:14 PM
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Shaq can currently be seen completely embarassing himself at the free throw line in the NBA Finals however.

Last edited by Quadzilla99; 06-11-06 at 11:26 PM.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:27 PM
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Too bad big, sexy & beautiful isn't going to win you anymore championships...the Heat are absoultely getting trounced...it's sad really...considering we should be the ones doing the trouncing.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BL2k
Shaq 5 points 2-5 shooting, OWNED!!!!!
By Erick Dampier, of all people. That's some irony.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:43 PM
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He is also fat and lazy too...... How about that one?
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You could let it pick your brain for weeks and months, just replay it over and over, won't do you any good at all. When someone loses a loved one and they do that it only brings forth anguish. I feel acceptance is sometimes the key, it happened, now you have to react to it. Giving up is not an option.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:48 PM
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And it looks like Tim will win another ring before Shaq does.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:51 PM
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Somewhere, Kobe is smiling.
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Old 06-11-06, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MomBear
And it looks like Tim will win another ring before Shaq does.
Well MOMMMAAAAAAAAAAA whats up..... Anyways Tim has WON TWO SINCE SHAQ got his last, and Tim killed Dallas while Shaq can't even kill those weak Centers out there nor score it seems, nor hit a free throw to save the EARTH FOR GODS SAKES. We can only imagine this, if Shaq misses both the world will end, damn we would all be green we would be so sick thinking of it......

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeSchmo
Somewhere, Kobe is smiling.
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Win or lose this is a game -
You could let it pick your brain for weeks and months, just replay it over and over, won't do you any good at all. When someone loses a loved one and they do that it only brings forth anguish. I feel acceptance is sometimes the key, it happened, now you have to react to it. Giving up is not an option.
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Old 06-11-06, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rzarector7
Well MOMMMAAAAAAAAAAA whats up..... Anyways Tim has WON TWO SINCE SHAQ got his last, and Tim killed Dallas while Shaq can't even kill those weak Centers out there nor score it seems, nor hit a free throw to save the EARTH FOR GODS SAKES. We can only imagine this, if Shaq misses both the world will end, damn we would all be green we would be so sick thinking of it......

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Old 06-11-06, 11:23 PM
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Shaq is now 0-6 in finals games without Kobe. That's got to be eating him up inside.
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Old 06-11-06, 11:34 PM
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I'd hit it!
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Old 06-11-06, 11:38 PM
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@ Soup...
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