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Mombear 06-05-13 11:00 PM

Miami and Texas, Bad Decisions, and Legends: Welcome to the NBA Finals
Miami and Texas, Bad Decisions, and Legends: Welcome to the NBA Finals
By Andrew Sharp on June 5, 2013 2:30 PM ET

It's been six weeks, but after three rounds and 78 playoff games, we're here. The NBA Finals. We did it. This is our reward for sitting through the Bulls-Nets series.

And if you're a little bit exhausted after the past few rounds of hoops, that's totally understandable. But in a few weeks basketball will be over, and all we'll be left with for the summer is baseball. So savor this. Especially since we're getting one of the best Finals matchups of the past decade. With that in mind, let's get right to it with a breakdown of who's involved.
The Teams

The Heat. A monument to excess, empowered individuals, and outrageous alley-oops. They're a dynasty that was bought two years ago, and basically the sports equivalent to the Watch the Throne album in all the best and worst ways that analogy could work. They are occasionally unbearable, but are still the most talented team in the league, and when it works, it WORKS. It was working all year, but then Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh got hurt, and gave us just enough room to talk ourselves into the possibility of an upset here. Plus …

The Spurs. San Antonio has been so good in the playoffs that we've all done a double take and remembered, Oh ****, that's right, this team can beat anyone. So here we are. The Spurs are the other side of the NBA coin. A monument to discipline, trust in a proven system, and really good screens. The Spurs are the sports equivalent of a grilled chicken breast for dinner, but they've added more spice in recent years, and I swear they're more exciting than I'm making it sound.

The Overlords

Pat Riley.
With all due respect to Erik Spoelstra, this team belongs to the most accomplished vampire the NBA has ever seen. We don't know how he does it, or what kind of shady backroom dealing happened at that dinner with LeBron during the regular season in 2009, but at 68 years old, Pat Riley remains an evil genius who is not to be trusted under any circumstances. We mean all this in the most complimentary way possible, because he's one of the most brilliant basketball minds we've seen in the past 30 years.

Gregg Popovich. Meanwhile, there's Pop. He is possibly a former spy, a serious oenophile, a really good dancer …


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