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  #51  
Old 05-20-12, 09:48 AM
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That blackout was caused when John Hollinger entered their stats into his computer.
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  #52  
Old 05-20-12, 09:49 AM
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In an effort to record his first career triple double, Ricky Davis once shot at his own basket to get a rebound.

It was credited to the Spurs.
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  #53  
Old 05-20-12, 09:50 AM
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The slam dunk, rising stars, 3-point, and NBA skills competitions on All-Star weekend will be replaced by the "Try not to let the Spurs catch you" event.

There will be no winners.
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  #54  
Old 05-20-12, 09:51 AM
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If one of them throws chalk into the air before a game starts, the sun will be blocked out for the remainder of the week.
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  #55  
Old 05-20-12, 09:52 AM
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A fan in the stands once threw a drink at the Spurs. The drink stopped in mid-air and looked around for Ron Artest.
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  #56  
Old 05-20-12, 09:53 AM
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The NBA has a rule stating "It is forbidden for any player to leave the bench during an altercation on the court, except when the Spurs are playing".

In those cases, it is clear that a rule is not necessary.
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  #57  
Old 05-20-12, 09:53 AM
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Dwayne Wade tried to add the Spurs to his 5, and was electrocuted by his phone.
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  #58  
Old 05-20-12, 09:54 AM
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Superman wears Spurs pajamas.
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  #59  
Old 05-20-12, 09:55 AM
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The NBA has rules for its teams, but they only have Suggestions for the Spurs.
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Last edited by Money4Nothing; 05-20-12 at 09:58 AM.
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  #60  
Old 05-20-12, 10:00 AM
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Their coaching staff is confused with the term "homicide".

They always called it "Finishing the possession".
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  #61  
Old 05-20-12, 10:05 AM
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There is no "National Basketball Association".

There is just a collective of teams that the Spurs dominate.
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  #62  
Old 05-20-12, 10:35 AM
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They use Playoff games to try things for scrimmages where they actually play someone worthy
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  #63  
Old 05-20-12, 10:58 AM
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They decided to switch from "best defensive team" to "most efficient offensive team" because they were bored.

They will intentionally foul players who can't hit free throws, just so they can stop and laugh at them.

While everyone else plays checkers, they play chess.

Last edited by SlamDunc21; 05-20-12 at 11:01 AM.
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  #64  
Old 05-20-12, 11:22 AM
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Opponents with 24 point leads fear they've offended them.
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  #65  
Old 05-20-12, 12:34 PM
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:applause those are all great! Except for this one:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Money4Nothing View Post
Chuck Norris is not good enough for the Spurs.
Blasphemy

I would never say that.
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  #66  
Old 05-20-12, 12:35 PM
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After the Men in Black leave their locker room, opposing players raid the room, so they can wear Spurs' uni and fantisize about being a Spur! And say "One Day They'll want me, I hope."
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  #67  
Old 05-20-12, 12:54 PM
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My personal pet peeve is that since 2007, the national sports media has been repeating ad nauseseum ad infinatumn that the Spurs are "too old", "over the hill","expired" and "BORING" blah blah blah.

Yet Tony, Tim and Manu ARE STILL HERE, Jax is back and and a solid crew behind them. The media still can't explain it caught holding their johnsons with their pants down . Tell us more about LBJ, Kobe blah blah blah

YES, its good to be a Spurs fan, the national basketball "expert" media are lazy numb nut parrots and the Lakers really do suck.

Go Spurs Go!

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  #68  
Old 05-20-12, 01:44 PM
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The NBA will no longer post the number of Spurs wins in the standings, because it would imply the possibility of them losing. Instead, the league will tally Spurs "Appearances".
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  #69  
Old 05-20-12, 01:48 PM
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All members of their roster will always receive a "DNP" in the box score, because they obviously don't play.
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  #70  
Old 05-20-12, 01:51 PM
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The "plus/minus" column of the their box score will be permanently revised to the label "(+)", while the opponent's box score will be revised to only "(-)".
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  #71  
Old 05-20-12, 01:52 PM
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Tim Tebow is kneeling to thank the Spurs.
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  #72  
Old 05-20-12, 02:17 PM
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countdown til some ESPN "expert" steals these ideas.... 10, 9, 8...
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  #73  
Old 05-20-12, 03:36 PM
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hahahaha Amazing thread. for the ages!!!
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With 26 points on 4 of 4 shots from distance in only 20 minutes of PT. Efficient eviceration.
Wolves' fan: ginobili vs. the wolves is like he's just kind of laughing to himself all game...kind of like he thinks it's cute that they're trying to play basketball.
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  #74  
Old 05-20-12, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dulce View Post
:applause those are all great! Except for this one:



Blasphemy

I would never say that.
Has Chuck been working on his help defense?
'Cuz otherwise...

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  #75  
Old 05-20-12, 05:57 PM
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Money4Nothing is like butter.... he's on a roll!!!!
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  #76  
Old 05-20-12, 07:30 PM
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When the CIA needs intelligence, they contact Pop and RC....

The NBA purposely created the term small market to hide the brilliance of the Spurs. For their part, the Spurs play so well that they are impossible to hide.... Still the NBA tried to label them "boring" because the powers that be were afraid that the feelings that people would get watching Spurs basketball were so visceral, they would have no way to put the genie back in the bottle if the viewers were too many...

However, the Spurs are not worried about any of that because the nba execs got it wrong. The Spurs are not the cause. THEY ARE THE CURE...
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Cutters are coming
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Pass is PINPOINT PERFECT
and somebody ends up WIDE OPEN
No Flash No Gimmicks NO CHANCE OF STOPPING IT
IT'S THE QUIET GUYS YOU SHOULD FEAR
because words are small and GAME IS BIG

GO GO!


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  #77  
Old 05-20-12, 07:35 PM
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When this is over and the gold ball floats down the Paseo del Rio, the NBA and TV execs will have to rethink their branding strategy and realize that the Spurs are everything GOOD about basketball and use the NFL strategy to highlight the greatness of TEAMS not just individuals...
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NO NEED TO RUSH
Cutters are coming
Screens are being set
Pass is PINPOINT PERFECT
and somebody ends up WIDE OPEN
No Flash No Gimmicks NO CHANCE OF STOPPING IT
IT'S THE QUIET GUYS YOU SHOULD FEAR
because words are small and GAME IS BIG

GO GO!


I AM NINJA!
"We will either find a way, or make one."
~Hannibal~
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  #78  
Old 05-21-12, 01:34 AM
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The Spurs would sweep Jordan, Bugs Bunny, Daffy and all that Space Jam team.
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  #79  
Old 05-21-12, 08:04 AM
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This team is so interesting that during this past season, network executives scheduled them for less nationally televised games than ANY of the other teams currently in the playoffs. In truth, they were afraid that other fans would see them and not want to buy tickets for their own home team's games... ever again.
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  #80  
Old 05-21-12, 08:08 AM
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Their Two Time MVP power forward wears a "Punisher" knee brace during games under black gauze so as to not outwardly scare opponents. The NBA allows it so that they can later say "we warned you."

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  #81  
Old 05-21-12, 08:14 AM
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Their GM doesn't drink often, but when he does, he wraps his car around trees and then simply walks away... because he can.
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  #82  
Old 05-21-12, 08:16 AM
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They once traded away All Star forward Luis Scola to an in-state rival for next to nothing because he wasn't good enough to ever wear Silver and Black. Neither was the guy they traded him for, and still they won.
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  #83  
Old 05-21-12, 08:20 AM
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Their shooting coach, Chip Englund, once taught Ray Charles AND Stevie Wonder how to hit well over 40% from beyond the arc.
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  #84  
Old 05-21-12, 08:24 AM
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Their PA announcer is known to ask visiting teams if they have any final wishes or requests after he introduces their starting line-ups.
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  #85  
Old 05-21-12, 08:44 AM
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waaa!!!

so much time btween sweept series?? lol
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  #86  
Old 05-21-12, 10:33 AM
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Spurs don't fly under the radar, they go right through them and still remain undetected.
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  #87  
Old 05-21-12, 11:41 AM
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The Spurs conduct shoot around with left handed basketballs...except Manu, he of course uses a right handed basketball...because he is left handed...
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  #88  
Old 05-21-12, 11:58 AM
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Gregg Popovich is so intelligent, that his brain is thought to be ambidextrous...
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  #89  
Old 05-21-12, 12:06 PM
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If Barack Obama could run the country 1/100000 as well as the Spurs were run then there might be some truth to what we hear about him from the mainstream media about how great he is....
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  #90  
Old 05-21-12, 12:09 PM
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A more powerful big three does exist, but to mention them in this context would only be blasphemous.
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  #91  
Old 05-21-12, 04:12 PM
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All of this is hilarious.
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  #92  
Old 05-21-12, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSpur View Post
They once traded away All Star forward Luis Scola to an in-state rival for next to nothing because he wasn't good enough to ever wear Silver and Black. Neither was the guy they traded him for, and still they won.
And by All Star, you mean third in Rookie of the Year voting.

I can see how that's confused...

Yeesh.
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  #93  
Old 05-21-12, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSpur
They once traded away All Star forward Luis Scola to an in-state rival for next to nothing because he wasn't good enough to ever wear Silver and Black. Neither was the guy they traded him for, and still they won.
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  #94  
Old 05-21-12, 09:50 PM
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I don't know where the Spurs ranked as top visiting teams in terms of tickets, but just to make it interesting...

The Spurs are so good the they spotted the league six straight road losses to open the season, just so the other teams felt like they could win a home game against them this season.

And when the League sent its very best teams to play the Spurs at home, they begged that the Spurs lose in impressive fashion so that the other teams felt like they could win in San Antonio as well. That explains what happened on April 11.
And the Spurs obliged if only to give themselves an excuse to administer a proper beating because of the previous engagement to regain their aura and "re-establish their dominance."
__________________
NO NEED TO RUSH
Cutters are coming
Screens are being set
Pass is PINPOINT PERFECT
and somebody ends up WIDE OPEN
No Flash No Gimmicks NO CHANCE OF STOPPING IT
IT'S THE QUIET GUYS YOU SHOULD FEAR
because words are small and GAME IS BIG

GO GO!


I AM NINJA!
"We will either find a way, or make one."
~Hannibal~
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  #95  
Old 05-21-12, 10:55 PM
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I dont always when championships
but when I do
I win in lockout years

Stay Silver and Black, my friends
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  #96  
Old 05-22-12, 02:09 AM
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I don't always get a to be on National TV unless its the playoffs.
So when I am on National TV in the playoffs, I play so that a Gold Balled trophy gets to go floating down a riverwalk in June..
Stay in Fiesta mode, my friends...
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NO NEED TO RUSH
Cutters are coming
Screens are being set
Pass is PINPOINT PERFECT
and somebody ends up WIDE OPEN
No Flash No Gimmicks NO CHANCE OF STOPPING IT
IT'S THE QUIET GUYS YOU SHOULD FEAR
because words are small and GAME IS BIG

GO GO!


I AM NINJA!
"We will either find a way, or make one."
~Hannibal~
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