LeBron James has never requested a trade. He has never been linked to performance-enhancing drugs. He has never gone to jail for running a dogfighting operation. He has never run into the stands in the middle of an NBA game to separate a fan from his shirt, or been accused of giving insider information to bookies, or been arrested for beating his girlfriend, or signed the Jonas Brothers to a record deal, or put you on hold and transferred you to a guy in India who can't help you, or sold cocaine-shooting semi-automatic weapons out of the trunk of his car.
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