Top 10 Signs You're on a Sh*tty Cruise Ship
 

10) The piano player in the bar keeps playing music from "Titanic."

09) ???

9) It is named the SS Minnow and you are scheduled for a three-hour tour, captained by Gilligan and the Skipper too, with other guests including the Millionaire and his wife, The Moooovie Star, The Professor and Mary Ann.

08) Your fishing bait and dinner are the same thing.

This acutally happened on the cruise I was just on.
Well, he only played one song.

07) The waitstaff looks suspiciously like TBNL's lawn crew

What happened? Did someone shoot him?? :D

06) The nonstop sound of whips cracking coming from the ship's hull

"Hello everybody, and welcome to the Flying Dutchman. My name is Davy Jones, and I'll be your Captain."

Upon boarding the ship, you and yours are given oars and ordered to get to work.

While sitting on the toilet a shark from the ocean below bites you on the arse

When the sound of cannons keep you up at night.

1) You advertise using Kathy Lee Gifford singing and dancing.

every cabin but yours is rented out to the lesbian octogenarian society

You see the crew from Deadliest Catch board the boat right behind you.

the movie of the night is Posiedon

When you ask where the restrooms are, the deckhand points you here......

http://www.sanitationjournal.com/ima...t-vertical.gif

David Foster Wallace is there, scribbling down notes.

2 rescued after fall from cruise ship

GALVESTON, Texas - A man and woman fell overboard from a cruise ship in the Gulf of Mexico early Sunday, but both were rescued after a four-hour search and appeared to be in good condition, a cruise line spokeswoman said.

The 22-year-old man and 20-year-old woman fell 50 to 60 feet from a cabin balcony, said Julie Benson, spokeswoman for Princess Cruises.

She said the cruise line did not know how they fell overboard. Their ship, Princess Cruise's Grand Princess, was about 150 miles off the coast of Galveston, Texas, at the time.

The captain turned the ship around after friends of the man and woman notified the crew at about 1:30 a.m. CDT that they had gone overboard, Benson said. The ship's crew used high-powered spotlights and rescue boats in the search. One passenger was rescued by the ship's boats at 5:30 a.m. and the other at 6 a.m., according to a statement by the cruise line.

The search was aided by the Coast Guard, said Lt. j.g. Jillian Lamb at the District 8 Command Center. A nearby cruise ship also offered assistance, she said.

The man and woman, whom the cruise line declined to name, were examined by the ship's medical staff.

"They appear to be in satisfactory condition and we hope that no further medical attention will be needed," Benson said.

Grand Princess was carrying 2,783 passengers on a seven-day tour of the western Caribbean.

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