Top 10 Reasons Paris Hilton is going Celibate

[TexasNative]

10) She's run out of new partners. Literally.

09) ???

[micah76]

09) You can only get hymen restoration surgery once every two years. She wants to spend some time with her new one.

[Spurs Crusader]

08) Her publicist meant to put go celebrate, so Paris just ran with it.

[bevo]

07) she's finally contracted every venerial disease known to mankind
6.5) she's not going celibate willfully, but after she agreed to put some advertisement there, people got so sick of the advertisments that no one wanted to unf her anymore

[Hairyhandedgent]

06) decided she doesn't wanna be known as the Female Wilt Chamberlain

[Mr. Chauffeur]

5.) Her cooter was confiscated by the TSA at ORD, DFW, JFK, Heathrow, LAX, MDW, MIA and every other major airport across the world for being in that catergory of dangerous weapons of mass desucktion.

[Jackalope]

4) she was adding up her partners when her calculator caught fire. she took that as a hint.

[Nate From Ohio]

3) She is one STD away from spontanious combustion

[boo_radley]

2) Someone hold her she's not as hot as she thinks she is.

[Nate From Ohio]

1) She thought she looked fat on her last sex tape

[RickV]

-1) Sex with skanks is sooooo 5 minutes ago.

[Hairyhandedgent]

-2) media member misunderstood ... what she actually said was she is going to sell her b*tt

[andrea js]

-3. She's running outta greek rich dudes to date..oh wait she's always gonna find a greek rich dude to date...its either that or the world is comin to and end and she decided to play the mother theresa role in a movie and be a role model to humanity (RITE)

[FamousJames]

-4....Celibacy's HOT!

[Carnac The Magnificent]

-5) Her battered and dizzied babyhole just won't cooperate anymore.