Advice Please...

[Spursfreak21]

Ok, so im gonna be going into my second year of college next fall and i have been considering moving out for a while now. Last year my friend and I said we were gonna move into an apartment next fall, this guy has been my best friend through out high school, so were close and all. Well we started looking at prices (just casually, not real seriously) and i mentioned it to my parents and they FREAKED OUT!!! My mom was almost crying and my dad was like telling me all the bad things that could happen if i did this (like i could be broke, in debt, have bills, live off ramen, etc...) I tried to take the "Its part of life, this should be a happy time" side, but that didnt work. well i finally just stopped talking about it and told them nevermind. (I think they want me to stay home though college, which i dont wanna do). well months later, my very good friend whom i work with (which is female, i should add) mentioned that we should in because she would be graduating high school this may and we are both gonna be at UTSA next fall. well as usual i blew it off and was like "ok, ok". but she is very serious about it and wants to do it. thats not the problem, the problem is how do i tell my parents my intentions. i mean they are gonna freak out cuz i wanna move out again and cuz my friends a girl (We dont do it...i swear). the latest development is today when my friend told me "If it dosent work out between me and you, im leaving...like texas". I was shocked, but then she said she didnt want me to move out if i was doing it for her...which i dont think i am, cuz i had wanted to do this even before she said this. what do i do...(If anyone read that long thing)

[ACP]

Toughie...let me gather my thoughts.

[OUSpursGal6513]

That does sound like a mess. I guess the only thing you can do is to tell them you respect their opinion, but really believe the best thing for you is to move out and become more independent. I don't think there are any magic words that will make it easier. It sounds like your parents are very protective and love you...so I'm sure your moving out is going to be difficult for them to swallow no matter what.

Are you sure you can take care of all the bills and stuff by yourself? I'm in the same year of college as you and I know I couldn't. I would make sure they don't disapprove so much that they will not be willing to help you if you need it.

[JadesMomRocks]

Yes, this is a tough situation and you will need to use your best judgment .. Things to consider--- Are my parents helping to pay my way thru college ? They may not actually be paying the school, but buying food, clothing, hair, nails, car note, car insurance, gasoline , etc .. Only make a big decision such as this after you've completely thought it through .. Don't let friends or outsiders influence your decision ..

[TheLadiesMike]

Originally Posted by JadesMomRocks

but buying food, clothing, hair, nails, car note, car insurance, gasoline , etc ..

Spursfreak is a guy, so he can manage without his parents providing money for his hair and nails

As to the question, I wouldn't suggest moving in with that girl, that has too much potential for a disaster. In general, from what I can tell, guys and girls just don't live together well, esp when one says something like "If it doesn't work I am leaving the state." That makes me think she is a drama queen waiting to be crowned.

Move in with some trustworthy guy friends, if you can afford it and you would be willing to lose their friendship if they turn out to be terrible roomates and you have to ask them to leave or you have to leave them behind.

[To be named later]

Hmmm....I have some advice, but I'll share it once I know more:

Who pays for the tuition, books etc......your parents?

And who will pay the rent, electric bill, cable bill, internet bill, grocery bill, etc if you move into an apartment?

[austin_spurs_fan]

if you have a free ride while you go to college take it. Don't waste your money on an apartment when you can stay with your folks for free. If your parents are cool, let you stay out late, have friends over, then you should stay. You may wanna just try and renegotiaite some the rules your parents have. Don't be in a rush to join the real world, it isn't all its cracked to be.

[JadesMomRocks]

Originally Posted by TheLadiesMike

Spursfreak is a guy, so he can manage without his parents providing money for his hair and nails

As to the question, I wouldn't suggest moving in with that girl, that has too much potential for a disaster. In general, from what I can tell, guys and girls just don't live together well, esp when one says something like "If it doesn't work I am leaving the state." That makes me think she is a drama queen waiting to be crowned.

Move in with some trustworthy guy friends, if you can afford it and you would be willing to lose their friendship if they turn out to be terrible roomates and you have to ask them to leave or you have to leave them behind.

Wellllllllllllll .. SOME guys DO have their hair and nails done tyvm ... Last time I had mine done there was a guy having a manicure AND pedicure ...lol .. He wasn't a member of the Fab 5 either LadiesMan ... Those are things , that if important to one need to be thought out ..

[TheLadiesMike]

Originally Posted by austin_spurs_fan

if you have a free ride while you go to college take it. Don't waste your money on an apartment when you can stay with your folks for free. If your parents are cool, let you stay out late, have friends over, then you should stay. You may wanna just try and renegotiaite some the rules your parents have. Don't be in a rush to join the real world, it isn't all its cracked to be.

Rack that. I am staying with my folks. No rent, help with living expenses, privacy, home cooking, no need to have a job that all goes to bills.

[Spursfreak21]

Originally Posted by To be named later

Hmmm....I have some advice, but I'll share it once I know more:

Who pays for the tuition, books etc......your parents?

And who will pay the rent, electric bill, cable bill, internet bill, grocery bill, etc if you move into an apartment?

My parents pay for school, and books. If i move out, my parents made it clear that i would be "on my own" if i moved out. (but they would continue to pay for my school)

[TheLadiesMike]

Originally Posted by JadesMomRocks

Wellllllllllllll .. SOME guys DO have their hair and nails done tyvm ... Last time I had mine done there was a guy having a manicure AND pedicure ...lol .. He wasn't a member of the Fab 5 either LadiesMan ... Those are things , that if important to one need to be thought out ..

I was just kidding around

[Ganuple]

my best advice to you is...

MILK YOUR PARENTS FOR WHAT THEY ARE WORTH!

You are very lucky that they are paying for all of that stuff. It is VERY difficult to start off on your own, AND have to pay your college bills. I am speaking from experience.

I was in the same situation you were in. My folks would have helped me pay for college if I stayed with them and gone by their rule for a measly four years. But no, I just had to go off on my own. Sure, I am doing fine now, but I am having to work full time to help pay the bills, I am up to my freaking neck in student loan debt, and I can only take one or two college classes per semester. Therefore I am still in college today, when I could have been done with it 4 years ago, and be debt free.

My advice to you...suck it up and finish school as fast as you can while living with your parents, and LET THEM PAY FOR IT!

[JadesMomRocks]

Originally Posted by TheLadiesMike

I was just kidding around

..and so was I ... If you've never had a pedicure I would suggest you try it .. Just don't do the French Pedicure, okay ??

[To be named later]

Originally Posted by Spursfreak21

My parents pay for school, and books. If i move out, my parents made it clear that i would be "on my own" if i moved out. (but they would continue to pay for my school)

Personally, I was dying to get out of my parents house and be on my own. It didn't matter what the cost was. Looking back I really should have stayed at home and finished school. Instead of studying and having fun, I had to work 40 hours a week to pay for the apartment, groceries, etc. I graduated, but I had to bust my ass and I ended up with credit card debt. Meanwhile, friends who still lived at home, graduated faster, with less stress, and got their first jobs with zero debt.

It really does get expensive...$500-$900 for rent, $100 in CPS, $125 for phone, cable, internet, $200 for groceries, then there's all the insurance, gas and car expenses....and are you really going to be happy with second-hand, garage sale furniture? Probably not, you will have the urge to buy new....which will set you back several $ thousand. That is what you should expect.

My advice.....stay at home. Just sleep and study there. Spend the day in school, hanging out with friends, in the library.......establish some "guidelines" with your parents so you'll have your personal space. Milk it for all it's worth.

Having your own place isn't all it is cracked up to be. You'll be out there in the "real world" soon enough.

[Lump of Coal]

^^^^agreed!

Sith

[FamousJames]

The Great TBNL is right again....and pointing out something you should really examine...HOW MUCH IS THIS GONNA COST ME! Not only in bills, but also in terms of the relationship with your parents....Do a cost analysis and see exactly what TYPE of lifestyle you want to live....you could be the type of student that just moves out to get away or be a partying, student who's always broke cause there isn't enough money from the job....good luck and listen to TBNL!!!

[TheFlo2]

I go to UTSA and have my financial aid cover my apt. I made the same mistake and got into some debt. Not a good thing. Make sure you have a job and are able to cover all expenses. Don't expect your parents to bail you out of financial situations that may arise. Living with a girl...hmmmm...sounds tempting. Too much sexual tension will come up. Trust me man...once you see her come out of the shower with her hair wet. You are a doomed man. If you are responsible and don't live outside your means. I suggest moving in with some guys friends.

[GSG]

Originally Posted by To be named later

Personally, I was dying to get out of my parents house and be on my own. It didn't matter what the cost was. Looking back I really should have stayed at home and finished school. Instead of studying and having fun, I had to work 40 hours a week to pay for the apartment, groceries, etc. I graduated, but I had to bust my ass and I ended up with credit card debt. Meanwhile, friends who still lived at home, graduated faster, with less stress, and got their first jobs with zero debt.

It really does get expensive...$500-$900 for rent, $100 in CPS, $125 for phone, cable, internet, $200 for groceries, then there's all the insurance, gas and car expenses....and are you really going to be happy with second-hand, garage sale furniture? Probably not, you will have the urge to buy new....which will set you back several $ thousand. That is what you should expect.

My advice.....stay at home. Just sleep and study there. Spend the day in school, hanging out with friends, in the library.......establish some "guidelines" with your parents so you'll have your personal space. Milk it for all it's worth.

Having your own place isn't all it is cracked up to be. You'll be out there in the "real world" soon enough.

I agree with all of this and this is what I'm doing right now. In a financial point of view, it's the only and reasonable way of doing things unless your folks are filthy rich and will continue to support you out of the house. I'm going to St. Mary's and with a tuition of ~$18,000 a year, I don't really think I'm moving out yet.

[Pinky]

Stay at home, I lived at home and worked, I didn't go to college. But it helped me save for when I did. I was able to get a really nice apartment, I didn't have to worry much about money. Don't get me wrong, I did have to help while at home. I paid the cable bill, so I had to learn to be responsible for paying things on time. I also bought groceries for the whole house once a month.

But if you need to get out of the house, why not try it first by house sitting. I had that itch to move out right after high school, well my older sister had an apartment and asked me to stay while she went on vacation. I went crazy, from wildly crazy fun to extremely bored, to other stuff that happen that I knew I wasn't ready to move out yet. I house sat for my other brothers and sisters too and as time went on I found out when it was time it was a really easy transition for everyone.

[To be named later]

If I could add one thing to what I posted earlier.....

What would you rather do with 40 hours out of every week?

Working at a Blockbuster video (or similar type student friendly job) where you go to school in the morning, then work the evening shift until 11 pm, AND work the weekends, and have little time for friends and stuff, cuz all your time is devoted to work and school, and rent and everything is due,

OR,

Spend those 40 hours hanging with friends, partying, and most importantly.....studying. And if you want, a part time job just to have spending money?

Living on your own now may look like filet mignon, but once you jump on that wheel you will find it is really round steak, and that you cannot jump back off that wheel.