Scientific explanation of hell

Big Empty · #1 10-11-05, 11:20 AM

Subject: hell
>
>Scientific Explanation of Hell
>
>The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
>Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
>"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
>Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it
>as well.
>
>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
>heat)?
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas
>cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
>gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
>there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
>to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
>in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
>the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
>temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
>to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
>all Hell breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate f aster than the increase of souls in
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it?
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and
Class Valedictorian,) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell >before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
>night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure
>that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
>The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
>not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven
>thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>