Trojan recalls iron-on prophylactics

[PHANTOM21]

AP Press

ORLANDO, FL - Trojan, the USA's number one prophylactic manufacturer, is recalling tens of thousands of iron-on condoms due to lack of market interest at this time.



"All things considered, it was probably a bad idea," says CEO. Do you think?

The massive scale of the recall - which has variously been reported as large, extra-large, and super - is a profound embarrassment to a company.

"It's hard enough admitting where I work," says Derek Howard, who works in Trojan's accounts division in Orlando. "And this latest ill-conceived - no pun intended - marketing strategy simply adds insult to injury."

The company's marketing executives, however, are unpeturbed.

"We marketing execs are always looking for fresh new ways to deliver our products. We like to stay on the ball and keep on delivering our product in new and interesting ways," says Rolly Rabbers of Trojan. "We're seeing a plethora of new marketing ideas out there now - from mint strips that can stick to the top of your mouth to computer operating systems like Linux that actually work; the field is rife with wacky ideas like these. We just never know what's going to work until the public decides. In this case, they seem to have spoken. So we issued the recall."

The recall of the iron-on prophylactic will be added to America's colorful history of doomed marketing ideas, a list that ranges from the spray-on contact-lens applicator, the Fischer-Price 'Home Plastic Surgery Kit' for early teens, to the quintessential marketing disaster: "The Princess Diana Memorial Defensive Driving School" - an endeavor that crashed and burned shortly after opening its doors.