One of the new duties the Duchess assumed upon marriage was to insure the Duke's shoes always carried a spit shined appearance. As the Duchess bent to shine the Duke's shoes, she let out a 'royal' fart which was so loud that the little bridesmaid had to cover her ears.
"I'm always amazed to hear of victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?" - Paul Merton