the doctor, the lawyer and the biker

[FrenchTouch™]

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker, were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."
After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her."

The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

[Spurbanana]

nice one

[TheLadiesMike]

[Cruzan2k]

BWAHAHAHA ,,,,,GREAT

[RocketMan]

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field in the distance. Amazed, he asks, "What the hell are those?!"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

[Hec]

A 20 year old guy is tired of being a virgin and decides to go to a house of ill repute to do something about it. After his arrival at the house, he proceeds to go up stairs with one of the girls. He tells her that he has never been with a woman because he has had some disfiguring diseases when he was younger. The girls says that's OK and he starts to take off his shoes. After he removes his socks, the girls screams, "What the hell is wrong with you feet?" The guy says, "Well when I was younger I had a really bad case of TOELIO." The girl replies, "Don't you mean POLIO?" "No", he says, "it was TOELIO." The girls told him not to worry about it because she will not look at his feet anyway. The guy then begins to remove his pants. When he gets past his knees, the girl screams, "What the hell is wrong with your knees?" The guy say "Well when I was younger I had a really bad case of the KNEESELS." The girl replies, "Don't you mean MEASELS?" "No", he says, "it was the KNEESELS." She says, "Well that's OK. We'll just turn off the lights." After the guy removed his pants, he starts to lower his underwear. Once he gets them down to his thighs, the girl yell, "Oh I know, SMALL COX!"