Coach K: “OK, which one of you guys farted?”
1st Assistant: “Not me, Coach”.
2nd Assistant: “Not me, Coach”.
3rd Assistant: ‘That ventriloquist fart gag really works. They don’t even have a clue. I even fooled that gal behind me.’
If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to you. If you cannot afford a doctor, tough sh*t bud.