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Old 02-23-09, 01:40 PM
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LeBron James Traded To The Los Angeles Lakers (satire)
Written by Abel Rodriguez
CLEVELAND - NBA superstar LeBron James has been traded by the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Los Angeles Lakers.

In a surprise move that left the NBA world stunned beyond belief King James will be going west to join the Los Angeles Lakers who currently possess the best record in the NBA at 46-10.

In exchange for James, the Lakers will be giving up Andrew Bynum, Josh Powell, Luke Walton, Sasha Vujacic, the entire L.A. Laker Girls Cheerleading Squad, $51 million in cash, 10,000 shares of Disneyland stock, and actor Jack Nicholson.

Both teams appear to be pleased. A spokesman for the Cavaliers said that Cleveland has really found itself in a bad financial situation lately.

The nation's economic mess has had a tremendous impact on a city that relies heavily on a blue collar fan base.

Attendance has dropped off sharply. And those fans that do attend Cavalier games are not buying hot dogs, peanuts, fried pickles-on-a-stick, or programs.

In Cleveland and the surrounding area, factories are being shut down. Industries are moving out of state, and the Cleveland winters are getting colder. So the money will definitely come in real handy.

Meanwhile back in LaLaLand. The fans could not be happier. Motorists started honking their horns when they first heard about the trade and the horn honking has not stopped.

Kobe Bryant was reached at his mansion up in the hills and when asked to comment on the acquisition of LeBron James let out a yell that Tarzan himself would be proud of.

Bryant said that now with LeBron on their team that there is no way that the Lakers are going to lose anymore games for the remainder of the season. A bold statment indeed. But one that a lot of the veteran sports reporters and writers tend to agree with.

Coach Gregg Popovich, of the rival San Antonio Spurs when told that LeBron had been traded to the Lakers, turned three shades of red, and yelled, "S***t! S***t! S***t!"

The Bryant-James pairing will be without a doubt the greatest NBA duo in history. Kobe is so excited that he has told LeBron that Savannah and their two little boys can stay with him, Vanessa, and their two little girls until he finds himself a multi-million dollar mansion to buy.

LeBron who has a $90 million contract with Nike has already been approached by one of the biggest Mexican food chains on the left coast.

The Tio Tavo Taco & Tamale Tower franchise wants to sign James to be their spokesperson. The T5 has offered El Rey Jaime (King James) a $91 million contract.

In other news. Fox News is reporting that if Lindsay Lohan, who has lost a tremendous amount of weight lately, gets any skinnier her belly button will end up on top of her G-spot
With 26 points on 4 of 4 shots from distance in only 20 minutes of PT. Efficient eviceration.
Wolves' fan: ginobili vs. the wolves is like he's just kind of laughing to himself all game...kind of like he thinks it's cute that they're trying to play basketball.
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