You Know You're From San Antonio when...
You lost your virginity at mission drive-in
You know exactly how to get to the "Ghost Tracks" from anywhere in town.
You think "pro-choice" means flour or corn tortillas.
You've never been to the Alamo.
You think a health drink is a Margarita without salt.
You think being able to read the Taco Cabana menu makes you bilingual.
You used to live in a neighborhood you wouldn't even drive through now.
There has been a road crew on your street since before the Alamodome was built.
You remember when Crossroads Mall used to be called Wonderland.
You've been to Midget Mansion.
You know all about the "Dancing Diablo" and the "Donkey Lady" bridge.
You know that Wheatley and Brackenridge is the same school.
You remember the Captain Gus show.
Your subwoofer has twice the value of your car.
You have three rodeo outfits but never have been on a horse
You're an expert with the brake pedal, but you have no idea what a blinker is, or how to merge, or how to read a yield sign.
You think the last supper was at Mi Tierra restaurant.
Your idea of culture is wearing a Hard Rock T-shirt.
You do your grocery shopping at a flea market.
You think local politicians are crooks, but you still do not vote.
You have a "Selena Lives" bumper sticker on your car.
You care if San Antonio is in the "national spotlight", aka Texas spotlight.
A formal occasion is getting a glass with your longneck. You believe Tacos, barbecue, tequilla, and beer are the four basic food groups.
You rented Pulp Fiction to escape the everyday violence of the city.
Your White mother learned how to make Tamales & Menudo from your neighbors.
You think wearing bows in your hair will get you a husband.
You know the "real" definition of FIESTA is "stay home if at all possible".
You had breakfast tacos at Taco Cabana on Christmas morning.
You think Alamo Heights is rich.
You have ordered Mexican food at a Chinese restaurant. You get these jokes enough to pass them on to your friends.